Oct 31, 2019

Trump Found In Possession Of Drugs By Hero Canine

Washington, DC, The US Secret Service and members of the elite US Army Special Forces came head to head in the Oval Office earlier today when Conan, the hero dog of the recent raid on ISIS leader al-Baghdadi visited the President to receive a Purple Heart for wounds received during the raid.

Moments after entering the Oval Office, Conan broke lose from his Special Forces handler, tore through surprised Secret Service body guards, and attacked President Trump knocking him to the floor.

As Special Forces officers pulled Conan from the President the Secret Service Agents pulled their guns and threatened to shoot Conan but Special Forces then drew their weapons causing a brief standoff.

When President Trump got up from the floor several pounds of heroin, cocaine, opium, and
Fentanyl spilled out of his torn clothing onto the floor prompting the Special Forces officers to immediately call the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency who responded within minutes to escort the President to an as yet undisclosed location somewhere in the White House.

Wackemall Network News has confirmed that Conan was previously trained as a drug sniffing dog for US Customs and Border Enforcement before enlisting in the Army and requesting assignment and training with US Special Forces.