Was trying out a bass player for a band once. Said his name was Rusty Saw. He showed up not with a bass but with a beat up old 6 string acoustic guitar missing strings and a vocal mic rolling around inside for a pick-up. Every time he moved the mic rolled around producing a loud knocking sound amplified through the system.
So we found him a real bass and he could almost play. Hired him anyway as bass players are hard to find and we were desperate.
He missed every gig. Every rehearsal.