Showing posts from September, 2019

Anyone Can Be A Bass Player

Was trying out a bass player for a band once. Said his name was Rusty Saw. He showed up not with a bass but with a beat up old 6 string acoustic guitar missing strings and a vocal mic rolling around inside for a pick-up. Every time he moved the mic rolled around producing a loud knocking sound amplified through the system.

So we found him a real bass and he could almost play. Hired him anyway as bass players are hard to find and we were desperate.

He missed every gig. Every rehearsal.

Another Beer Please

A neighbor's house caught fire one night a few years ago. Several of us, myself included, tried to go inside to rescue him but the fire was just too big, we couldn't go in. We were running all around the house shouting his name when finally we found him drunk, standing in the crowd watching his house burn to the ground.
He had put french fries in the deep fryer and forgot about them when he went out to get more beer.

Said it was the worst fire he had ever seen.

Why Help First?

Counseling before helping is simply jumping through hoops. They're people, not circus animals.

What's Next?

Years ago I published a fictional story on a now defunct online magazine about imported televisions that had bombs inside of them and how I had narrowly escaped death when one blew up in my home.
People were outraged! The numbers were staggering. The comments were all nasty. People hated me for bringing up the idea they might be buying dangerous products and bringing them into their homes.
Wannabe literary critics called my story far fetched and said there was no such way that thousands of exploding TVs would ever get through US Customs.
These days people buy electronics that come with built-in spy ware and computer viruses capable of doing who knows what.
Who knows what they'll come up with next?

Slander By The Fittest

In a world ruled by propaganda, slander has become the weapon most wielded by the winners.

The Proper Way To Prepare Grits

When my 3 brothers and I were growing up my mother used butter and sugar to get us to eat our grits. It worked. But being born and raised here in the Southland I know a lot of folks take exception to sugar on grits.

Let me tell you about grits. Grits are the Southern version of tofu. Grits are made from ground up hominy-- corn that has been soaked in lye. As bad as that sounds, tofu is made from soybean milk (as if there really is such a thing as soybean milk) that has been allowed to coagulate-- a process in which acids have been added to form a curd.

Sounds yummy, doesn't it?

According to Wikipedia:

"Lyes are used to cure many types of food, including the traditional Nordic lutefisk, olives (making them less bitter), canned mandarin oranges, hominy, lye rolls, century eggs, pretzels, bagels, and the traditional Turkish pumpkin dessert Kabak tatlısı[1] (creating a hard crust while the inside remains soft). They are also used as a tenderizer in the crust of baked Cantonese moon …

The Measure Of A Man

People who measure men's ability by their wealth cannot measure the ability of men who seek not wealth.