Showing posts from January, 2019

Making Little Ones Out Of Big Ones

A friend of mine-- I'll not mention any names-- once told the story of being sentenced to 2 years at the US Army Prison at Leavenworth, Kansas after repeatedly going AWOL and refusing to ship out to Vietnam. Now I might not have all the details exactly right but I think I'm close enough.

Seems he enlisted to go in the motor-pool but when it came time to go he had been reassigned to infantry with orders to be sent right into the thick of things, causing him to reassess his relationship with the Army.

He said the first day wasn't so bad-- they mixed concrete and poured what looked to him to be concrete parking bumpers. He thought, I can handle 2 years of this, no problem.

But the next day he was handed a sledge hammer and spent the entire day busting up the concrete parking bumpers someone else had made a couple of weeks before.

And every single day for 2 years, rain, snow, sleet, sun, hail, and wind they alternated between making them and breaking them.

Now I don't j…

Scared The Piss Out Of Him

Some years back when driving tractor-trailers from coast to coast my co driver pulled over to take a leak. He left the truck idling as I was asleep in the bunk and he knew shutting it down would wake me.

He walked around the truck to take a leak and never heard the Arizona State Trooper who stopped to check on him. "Is there something wrong with your truck?" a woman's voice asked him.

Startled, he turned around in mid stream and pissed all over her legs!

It was after she handcuffed him that she knocked on the side of the cab to inform me that I should follow her to town where he would be going before the magistrate judge on charges of littering and assaulting a law enforcement officer.

When we got to the county courthouse the Magistrate Judge ruled that peeing on the side of the road was littering and fined him for doing so. But he told the State Trooper that if she hadn't have startled the man he would have never turned around until after he zipped up his …

It is estimated the shutdown has already cost the US economy over $7 Billion. Trump should be hanged in front of a firing squad.

History Of Wackemall, Part 80: Voltaire

Fran̤ois-Marie Arouet (1694 Р1778), best known by his nom de plume Voltaire, was a French Enlightenment writer, historian and philosopher famous for his wit, criticism of religion and advocacy of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and separation of church and state.

Remembered as a versatile and prolific writer who produced works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays and historical and scientific works, he was an outspoken advocate of civil liberties. As a satirical polemicist, he frequently made use of his works to criticize intolerance, religious dogma and the French institutions of his time.

While most of his works are quite well known one of his lesser known works points to the popularity of Wackemall in 18th century France and the willingness of Voltaire to serve it even to the French bourgeoisie and aristocracy, both of which he considered ridiculous.

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemi…

Letting Go

The Eulogy

When the old man died they gathered 'round to speak his eulogy, see him off, say some words, and let his soul go free. Amidst the tears, tales of glory years, and secrets before not told his grandson, just a little boy, spoke these words so bold,

"Get out of here. You've had your turn. You're getting in my way.
I'm tired of being quiet.
I want to shout and play!
Since you moved in my live has sucked, my whole world has been doomed.
Get out of here.
You've had your turn.
And give me back my room!"

The preacher stood in silence.
His mother only cried.
His father never said a word, but looked as if he'd died.
The guest, they all were silent.
The ushers silent too.
The organist couldn't play a note.
There was nothing they could do.

"Get out of here. You've had your turn.
Get this show on the road.
Stick ol' Grandpa in the ground--
my supper's gettin' cold.
Hurry up,
let's wrap this up,
It's way past time to go! …

Never Ending War

Grassroots rebellions never die-- they just smolder until some greedy moron throws oil on the fire.

Blowing Out Other's Candles

Blowing out other's candles won't make your candle brighter but it might make your candle the only light in the room. Do you wish to be a dim light in a dark room?

Ye Shall Know Them By Their Insanity

Just because you're crazy doesn't mean you are wrong. Being able to see the truth is enough to drive anyone crazy.

The Messiah Comes Today

People are waiting for a Messiah... He came, he went. He comes every day with many different faces. You shall know him by his words, not by his fruits, for his goal is not for himself but for those who come after him. And when he comes back again tomorrow they'll not recognize him then either. They never do.

Don't Hate The Cynic

Cynicism, as much as we may not like it, is a perfectly natural and normal human emotion. It protects us from emotions we simply can no longer deal with.

Truck Lane Restrictions?

First time I ever drove a tractor-trailer to California was 1978, I was 21 years old and had never heard of truck lane restrictions as none existed outside of California at that time.

I delivered in San Diego and had a second stop in Los Angeles that I hoped to deliver same day. I put my rig on I-5 and opened it up moving all the way to the left lane making excellent time.

About half way to LA I noticed a Camaro with flashing blue lights in the grill behind me. I turned on my right turn signal and after about 3 miles I finally managed to make a safe stop on the right shoulder of the Interstate just like everyone in North Carolina used to do.

The wind was blowing like crazy but that state trooper's hair was perfect. And boy was he mad! "What in the hell do you think you are doing?" he shouted.

"I'm going to LA," I answered in my best Southern draw.

"I mean what in the hell are you doing in the far left lane!" he shouted again.

"Well Of…

First Or Worst Poem Of The New Year?

The Last Day
I stood for the day, didn't bend, didn't sway-- just stared at the light of the moon 'til the sun, it went down on the near side of town and the night, it was over too soon...
Happy New Year!