Showing posts from October, 2018

Definition of Impossible

Never seen a kid yet that could miss a mud hole.

Make America Great At Last

The whole Make America Great Again notion operates on the false assumption that an empire built on slavery and the conquest of lesser nations to the benefit of a few is somehow great. America was never great before, how can it be great again?
Let's make America great for the first time.

Ralph's Banana Burritos

Melt butter in cast iron,
slice a banana in three,
place on a flatbread,
prepare for the glee.

Spoon on orange marmalade
and roll it on up,
toss in the skillet
and fry it enough.

Add some more marmalade
and give it a flip.
Now just let it caramelize
while you lick your lips.

Ralph was a friend of mine and a member of the Wild Salsa Gang in good standing. A Vietnam Veteran, Ralph was known for entertaining friends with anti-war songs, wild stories, and some of the best recipes you've ever tasted. This was one of Ralph's favorite treats to serve friends after the party was over and things had calmed down. Ralph's Banana Burritos were always great with a cup of hot coffee and friends.

Ralph is no longer with us so I made a poem of his recipe in his honor.

When All Else Fails, Fly, Fly Again

Oscar's Flying Machine

Oscar wanted a flying machine. In his young eyes a gleam. He started with a washing machine and no more than a dream.
He'd screw and bolt, and bang and beat 'till finally he was done. Then flew way up into the sky until the cord became undone!

Then Oscar crashed to the ground stuck on spin cycle...

Some Boys....


"You're silly," she told me.
"I get that a lot. When things make me happy
I give silly a shot.
It makes me feel younger, alive, and so free.
So if you don't like silly then you'll not like me."

The Cat And The Turtle

I found a dead turtle in the side of the road today, apparently the victim of sticking its neck out too far over the white line as a car drove past. I could see no damage at all to the outside of the turtle except for a tiny wound on the bottom of its neck where the neck meets the front of the shell. When I found it the kill was so fresh rigor mor´tis had not yet set in.

Here's another view.

As you can see in the last photo taken through my screen door my cat, Panther is very curious as to what the turtle is, where it came from, and what it plans to do.

Does anyone know how to preserve dead turtles so I can put him on display?

Local Quakers Seeking Free Demolition Work

Seems our local Quakers need someone to haul away an old bridge they no longer want. Too bad the cost of moving the old bridge exceeds the cost of building a new bridge.

3 Million Miles Is A Lot Of Practice

Patience is an acquired virtue that one must practice a lot in order to acquire.

Adulting Sucks

I hear young people say it all the time but trust me kids, I'm retired and adulting still sucks.

Take me for instance. All I want to do is ride my antique Yamaha motorcycle but like most old motorcycles it needs repairs. I no longer dream of coast to coast rides, living on the back of a bike, bumming around the country... Hell, I did all that when I was young and there's not near as much to see now as there was then. No, I just mostly want to do day trips to the mountains or the beach and back, get some wind in my face, and forget about everything else in that zen state I'm only able to achieve on two wheels.

But nooooooo, I get my monthly Social Security check and its new tires for the truck, a new set of coils for the car, new mufflers... Last month it was replacing the floor in the combination laundry/pantry and installing a new water heater which consumed all but $38 of my monthly check. And that was with me doing the actual work myself. It's a good thing I know how…

Where Most Dare Not Go

Lost In Never Land
He died inside so long ago. All was lost to all he'd know-- the bitter cold had took his heart, and from the world he wished to part.
Those who knew him knew him not, for deep inside his hopes did rot. For with no hope one is not man, can't look ahead to dream nor plan.
And so he wandered 'cross the land in search of things he'd understand, but all to him was always wrong, and all he loved were too far gone.
He tried to end it many times, convinced no cure could ease his mind, and all the cures of gods and men could not restore what had not been...

Second Opinion

"Well Sir," the eye doctor said, "it appears you have cataracts in your eyes."

"No way," the old man said, "you must be seein' that Lincoln Town Car I beens dreamin' 'bout. I wouldn't drive no Cadillac if you paid me."

"I mean..."

"I don't care what you mean," the old man interrupted, "Is there another eye doctor in town you can refer me to? I want a second opinion."

"No," the eye doctor answered, "I'm the only eye doctor in town but I'll be happy to refer you to an excellent hearing specialist."

What Money Can Buy

Money can't buy happiness but it sure as hell can buy new motorcycle parts and that's almost the same thing as happiness.

When Entitlement Doesn't Work

There's nothing like the experience of waking up and realizing you're the only person in a crowded room with no pants on.