Oct 29, 2018

Make America Great At Last

The whole Make America Great Again notion operates on the false assumption that an empire built on slavery and the conquest of lesser nations to the benefit of a few is somehow great. America was never great before, how can it be great again?

Let's make America great for the first time.

Oct 26, 2018

Ralph's Banana Burritos

Melt butter in cast iron,
slice a banana in three,
place on a flatbread,
prepare for the glee.

Spoon on orange marmalade
and roll it on up,
toss in the skillet
and fry it enough.

Add some more marmalade
and give it a flip.
Now just let it caramelize
while you lick your lips.

Ralph was a friend of mine and a member of the Wild Salsa Gang in good standing. A Vietnam Veteran, Ralph was known for entertaining friends with anti-war songs, wild stories, and some of the best recipes you've ever tasted. This was one of Ralph's favorite treats to serve friends after the party was over and things had calmed down. Ralph's Banana Burritos were always great with a cup of hot coffee and friends.

Ralph is no longer with us so I made a poem of his recipe in his honor.

Oct 24, 2018

When All Else Fails, Fly, Fly Again

Oscar's Flying Machine

Oscar wanted a flying machine.
In his young eyes a gleam.
He started with a washing machine
and no more than a dream.
He'd screw and bolt, and bang and beat
'till finally he was done.
Then flew way up into the sky
until the cord became undone!

Then Oscar crashed to the ground
stuck on spin cycle...

Oct 23, 2018

Some Boys....


"You're silly," she told me.
"I get that a lot.
When things make me happy
I give silly a shot.
It makes me feel younger,
alive, and so free.
So if you don't like silly
then you'll not like me."

Oct 13, 2018

The Cat And The Turtle

I found a dead turtle in the side of the road today, apparently the victim of sticking its neck out too far over the white line as a car drove past. I could see no damage at all to the outside of the turtle except for a tiny wound on the bottom of its neck where the neck meets the front of the shell. When I found it the kill was so fresh rigor mor´tis had not yet set in.

Here's another view.

As you can see in the last photo taken through my screen door my cat, Panther is very curious as to what the turtle is, where it came from, and what it plans to do.

Does anyone know how to preserve dead turtles so I can put him on display?

Oct 12, 2018

Local Quakers Seeking Free Demolition Work

Seems our local Quakers need someone to haul away an old bridge they no longer want. Too bad the cost of moving the old bridge exceeds the cost of building a new bridge.

3 Million Miles Is A Lot Of Practice

Patience is an acquired virtue that one must practice a lot in order to acquire.

Adulting Sucks

I hear young people say it all the time but trust me kids, I'm retired and adulting still sucks.

Take me for instance. All I want to do is ride my antique Yamaha motorcycle but like most old motorcycles it needs repairs. I no longer dream of coast to coast rides, living on the back of a bike, bumming around the country... Hell, I did all that when I was young and there's not near as much to see now as there was then. No, I just mostly want to do day trips to the mountains or the beach and back, get some wind in my face, and forget about everything else in that zen state I'm only able to achieve on two wheels.

But nooooooo, I get my monthly Social Security check and its new tires for the truck, a new set of coils for the car, new mufflers... Last month it was replacing the floor in the combination laundry/pantry and installing a new water heater which consumed all but $38 of my monthly check. And that was with me doing the actual work myself. It's a good thing I know how to fix things.

Just this week I got this month's Social Security check and where does my motorcycle repair money go? To buy a new microwave that will for the most part heat water for instant coffee, heat leftovers I'm bored eating, and pop microwave popcorn.

I remember popping popcorn in steel baskets over a campfire and being perfectly happy with cowboy coffee. Do you know what cowboy coffee is? Cowboy coffee is when you boil water in a pot with no strainers and no filters, then dump the coffee grounds in, let it boil for a minute then take it off the fire or the stove and let it set for a few minutes so most of the coffee grounds settle to the bottom of the pot. Then you gently pour yourself a cup. Yes, you'll get a few coffee grounds in your coffee but you'll get more caffeine that way.

As for left overs. We used to never have left overs 'cause we ate everything we cooked the first time 'round. And if there were leftovers they were used to make something different. For example, rice left over from dinner was mixed with butter, sugar, and milk and served as a hot breakfast cereal but these days it's just warmed over rice.

But I don't run the kitchen, I just buy the appliances when I'd rather do something juvenile like buying motorcycle parts.

As a matter of fact, if it were left entirely up to me I would sell the house and the car, buy an old garage somewhere and move in it. No more mowing the lawn. I'd live in one corner of the shop and keep my bike and tools in the rest. No more adulting, just play. I'd raise tilapia in a 300 gallon tank in some dark corner so I'd always have fresh fish and let a few folks hang around from time to time until they found me impossible to get along with.

Then I'd go for a ride.

After all, for a lot of us this adulting only gets harder as we get older.

Oct 11, 2018

Where Most Dare Not Go

Lost In Never Land

He died inside so long ago.
All was lost to all he'd know--
the bitter cold had took his heart,
and from the world he wished to part.

Those who knew him knew him not,
for deep inside his hopes did rot.
For with no hope one is not man,
can't look ahead to dream nor plan.

And so he wandered 'cross the land
in search of things he'd understand,
but all to him was always wrong,
and all he loved were too far gone.

He tried to end it many times,
convinced no cure could ease his mind,
and all the cures of gods and men
could not restore what had not been...

Oct 8, 2018

Second Opinion

"Well Sir," the eye doctor said, "it appears you have cataracts in your eyes."

"No way," the old man said, "you must be seein' that Lincoln Town Car I beens dreamin' 'bout. I wouldn't drive no Cadillac if you paid me."

"I mean..."

"I don't care what you mean," the old man interrupted, "Is there another eye doctor in town you can refer me to? I want a second opinion."

"No," the eye doctor answered, "I'm the only eye doctor in town but I'll be happy to refer you to an excellent hearing specialist."

Oct 6, 2018

What Money Can Buy

Money can't buy happiness but it sure as hell can buy new motorcycle parts and that's almost the same thing as happiness.

Oct 2, 2018

When Entitlement Doesn't Work

There's nothing like the experience of waking up and realizing you're the only person in a crowded room with no pants on.