Sep 26, 2018

The Good Book Said

Who knew when the good book said, "The meek shall inherit the Earth," it was actually referring to the dirt?

Sep 24, 2018

Shithead

James was only 18 and had just begun riding prospect with the local MC when he crashed his Sporster into an outhouse during a drunken ride home from the clubhouse late one Saturday night. When one of the patch holders happened to come upon him just minutes later and called for the rest of the brothers to come help pull James and his Sporty out of the two holer there was no manure on his head. The rest of his body and his bike were covered but James' head was clean.

But despite having a clean head the patch holders immediately branded James with the name, Shithead.

Being a prospect is hard. Being a prospect named Shithead is even harder. But perhaps what made it hardest for him was the fact that Shithead... I mean, James, lived and worked in a small town where everyone quickly knew everything there was to know. In less that two weeks his boss and coworkers were calling him Shithead. And in less than six months his own mother was calling him Shithead. Occasionally even the pastor of the Baptist church called him Shithead when ranting about the sins of the town's local biker gang.

James wasn't even a patch holder yet and already he was the most infamous member of the club. And James was supposed to like it.

Some things are just too much for some people to bear and for James being called Shithead for the rest of his life was one of them. So after several months of being called Shithead, James packed a few belongings on his bike, hung his cutoff jacket on the clubhouse door, and rode out of town with out saying anything to anyone, riding all the way across the country before he decided to settle down, find a job, and try to start over.

As anyone who has ever started life anew knows it was no easy task for James to get on his feet. Many a night was spent sleeping on the ground next to his Sporty. Many a day he walked to work because his bike was broke down and he didn't have money enough to fix it. Doing proper maintenance when you're always broke is impossible. Getting a good job when you're doing day labor and living hand to mouth is almost impossible. Meeting the kind of person who will inspire your very soul almost never happens when you are at the bottom.

But James didn't give up.

Eventually James found a full time job and a little house he could afford to rent. And there was this girl working in the diner that James was getting along with really well. James was trying to get up the nerve to ask her out.

One Friday after work James stopped at a local bar on the way home thinking he'd like to have a beer or two. While he was sitting at the bar her heard a young woman ask, "Mind if I sit down beside you?" It was the girl from the diner.

"Not at all," James smiled, "Can I buy you a beer?"

"Only if it comes with no strings," she answered.

"No strings," James replied, "unless you're into that kind of thing."

"Maybe after I get to know you better," she smiled.

"That will be your decision," James agreed.

The two of them talked for a while, laughed a lot, and finally decided a moonlight motorcycle ride was in order. For James it couldn't have been any better. And before the night ended she asked James to take her home with him to spend the night.

If having sex with a woman could be any better than what James experienced that night he'd never known it. His only problem was he couldn't get enough of it. He slept for what only seemed like a few minutes before waking up wanting more. But when he tried to coax her into doing it again she said, "No, I'm tired."

So he laid there beside of her, awake, frustrated, out of control.... He decided to try again. "I said no, Shithead!" she shouted. "No means no!"

"Okay," James said as he got out of the bed. "I'll let you sleep."

*****


"Ms Comer," the Sheriff asked sitting in the interrogation room of the local sheriff's department the next day, "Are you sure that's all you said to him?"

"Yes," she answered, "I called him a shithead and told him no means no."

"And he didn't rape you?"

"No Sheriff," she answered, "it was my idea to go there and have sex with him."

"And so after having sex with you and getting turned down when he tried to have sex with you again, he rides his motorcycle head-on into the sewage treatment plant at over 100 miles per hour just because you called him Shithead," the Sheriff stated.

"Wow," she cried, "I guess words do have consequences."

"Apparently," the Sheriff agreed, "the consequences of a word are far beyond its weight. We'll look into his past before he came here and see what turns up."

"Is he going to live?" she asked.

"The doctors have him in a full body cast, everything but his head was broken, bruised, or bleeding. But it looks like a few months and he'll be up and around."

"Well I guess I know what not to call him," she smiled.

Sep 20, 2018

Definition Of Welfare

A system by which taxpayer dollars are given to the rich under the guise of helping the poor.

How quickly we forget that what is seen as handouts to the poor are always based in corporate welfare.

Examples:
Food Stamps

ObamaPhones

Sep 16, 2018

The Price Of Success

Most people have a price-- it's called family obligations. It can completely change one's morals and political point of view even if said person doesn't believe it. And in today's society the man who allows his family to live on less is branded the bigger coward than the man who stood up for what is morally right and just.

Sep 15, 2018

Where We Went Wrong

When you break a child's convictions you break the child... forever.

Sep 12, 2018

Opinion My Big Ol' Hairy Butt

Opinions only hold weight in the absence of facts.

That's why I prefer my stock 'n trade to be invested in known facts of known values rather than opinions with values that are subject to change like the winds.

Sep 10, 2018

Abandoned Harleys

I was on my way home to Oak Ridge from the Club House on 61 near Gibsonville one night when I happened upon a pearl white Flat Head Harley abandoned on the side of the road west of Reidsville about 4 in the morning.

I blew by it pretty fast and thought I was seeing things (you know how trips home from the club house could be) so I turned around and went back. Sure enough, there it was, looking like new, factory springer and all.

Then 2 very drunk bikers came crawling out of the ditch happy as hell to see me.

They had found the old bike in a tobacco barn, spent years restoring it, and had taken it for the first test ride. And were having such a great time they forgot to put gas in it.

We used one of their empty liquor bottles to get some gas out of my Superglide and get them going again.

Abandoned Harleys are rare.

Sep 9, 2018

Definition Of Pariah

One who was so smart that no one would listen, and thus became outcast.


The world needs more pariahs. Those who fit in are the ones who screw everything up.

Sep 4, 2018

The Lesser Of Two Evils Isn't

When you face two giant, man eating dragons it makes no difference if you battle the bigger or the smaller of the two first, you will still end up barbecued and eaten.

That's reality.

So don't allow either dragon entrance into your castle.

Sep 3, 2018