As is sometimes the case I got out of bed this morning and walked to the bathroom to exercise my need to sit on the throne. I don't know, maybe it was the refried beans I had for dinner last night but I had to go in a hurry.
Everything was coming out just fine when suddenly I realized my entire extended family, my friends, and many of their friends were all in the bathroom with me. And while I was seated on the throne with my underwear around my ankles, they were all seated around a huge dining table enjoying a meal.
I thought this to be especially odd as my bathroom is not unlike most American bathrooms built in the 1950s-- just big enough to contain the sink, tub, toilet, and a small linen cabinet. Even stranger was that none of my "guests" seemed to notice I was pooping in the same room where they were eating. As a matter of fact, it seemed as if they didn't know I was there. And I thought I'd like to keep it that way.
I decided I would very quietly pull up my underwear remaining seated for as long as possible, and then do my best to slip out of the room undetected, my manhood unexposed so that none of the ladies or children might become upset. But when I attempted to pull up my underwear I discovered my Haynes had shrunken to the point that I was unable to pull them beyond my knees.
I wasn't feeling good all under...
It was then I awoke from my dream feeling the overwhelming urge to rush to the bathroom to exercise my need to sit on the throne. I don't know, maybe it was the refried beans I had for dinner last night but I had to go in a hurry. But this time, when I closed the bathroom door behind me I did something I haven't thought to do in years.
I locked the bathroom door.