Jun 19, 2017

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

I'm almost certain this has been done before but here goes. Like women, motorcycles are expensive and sometimes difficult to figure out. But unlike women:

*Your motorcycle won't divorce you for some dude on a newer motorcycle.
*Motorcycles don't care if you smell like gasoline.
*Your motorcycle doesn't care that you've been riding another motorcycle.
*You can swap motorcycles with your friends. Or with complete strangers if that's what twists your throttle.
*Your motorcycle will let you ride as long as you like until the day it dies. Then you can get another without having to spend $10,000 Dollars to bury it.
*You won't do time If you kill your motorcycle.
*Motorcycles don't care if you strip them down-- even if you do it in public.
*Motorcycles don't care if it rains on a camping trip.
*You won't have to become a Mormon Extremest to have more than one motorcycle.
*Your motorcycle will never demand you take her home just as the party is getting started.
*Motorcycles like your friends.
*Your motorcycle doesn't care what you're tracking-in on your shoes.
*You motorcycle will never complain when you bring friend over for dinner-- even if you didn't tell her in advance.
*Your motorcycle won't bitch if you don't help around the house.
*Motorcycles don't care what neighborhood you live in.
*Motorcycles never interrupt you when you're watching the big game or your favorite bad-assed biker flic.
*Your motorcycle will never accuse you of neglecting her-- even if you do.
*Your motorcycle will never complain to your mother-in-law or go home because you're running around on her.
*Your motorcycle won't punch you in the back to complain that it's cold, hungry or tired.
*Your motorcycle will never get too drunk to ride.
*Your motorcycle might roll over on you but it will never turn state's evidence.
*Chrome is cheaper than diamonds!
*Your motorcycle only needs one pair of shoes at a time.
*Motorcycles never expect you to dress up. They don't even care if you wear clothes.
*Your motorcycle doesn't care about the shade of the lipstick on your dick. You can even sit on your motorcycle while you're getting a blow job and your motorcycle won't mind.

And from my friend Wooley:

*Your motorcycle will never ask if you will respect her in the morning.
*Your motorcycle will never ask where your going or when you'll be back.
*Your motorcycle will never get pissed because you called in sick so you can go ride.
*Your motorcycle could care less that you've been checking out all the new younger models.