Wackemsearch

Jun 14, 2017

Giant Swirling Butthole Craps Downdown

Greensboro, NC-- Visitors to Downtown Greensboro were shocked yesterday to discover the city had been defecated on by what appeared to be a giant swirling butthole.

Yesterday afternoon, residents and workers became alarmed after hearing a loud noise one downtown workers described as the loudest fart she had ever heard.

Others called Guilford County 911 to report what they believed to be a toxic chemical spill somewhere in the downtown area.

Later, while searching through social media, reporters for Wackemall Network News found this photograph of the Dorothy Bardoff Building stained by what Greensboro Firefighters, trained in hazardous materials response, only described as a giant swirling butthole.

The building was bought last year by Kotis Properties.

When asked, Greensboro Mayor Nancy Baracat Vaughan replied, "While I know it isn't Mr Kotis's fault, as the owner of the building, the least he could do, is to do something about the fecund stench."

No one from Kotis Properties was available to reply.
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