Welcome to Greensboro, North Carolina.
'Twas when I came to share a poem a policeman said to me, "You can't do that, it's again the law. I'll arrest you, wait and see." And so it was from this result of minstrel and bards banned that I came upon the Internet to rhyme across the land.
We're nearing completing of the Wackemall Media, Mining, Manufacturing, Farming & Transportation... sawmill. The first photo shows
the side the saw dust will be ejected on.
The second photo shows the skidway where the logs are rolled up to the mill. The aluminum pieces that connect the skidway to the mill simply slide out of the way to allow the operator access to the machine.
While currently we have only the capacity to saw 8' to 9' logs, we built the bed big enough to accommodate 16'. In the very near future we will add more rails to the bed. The overall length of the
bed is 20 feet.
As is, the mill will saw logs up to 21" in diameter but there are ways we can cut larger logs down to fit them on the mill. Frankly, there's not a lot of large timber locally and being we're both retired old men we're not really that interested in big timber unless it is something really special.
Here's another shot of the aluminum bridges that
span the dista…
The Assassination Of Donatos Donatos fell into the rut
out back of the Pizza Hut.
Subs and saucy saucers weren't enough
to save his dying butt.
Pizza by mail could not assail
the burgers or the King
and all soon knew his days were through
when the clown began to sing.
And Simple Kneads could not be filled
That's right, the Fast Food Wars have come to town and the main stream media can no longer ignore the death and destruction the wars leave behind as traffic skids out of control on sauce strewn streets and crusty molds cover all that remains. Tune in next time when we hear Liv say, "Those baguettes taste like they came out of a vending machine. OMG! They did come from a vending machine!"
And Fec replies, "When the great war comes again, as come it must, perhaps the sanctity of an honest sourdough loaf will be among the things which drive us to the battlements and sustain us in our darkest hours."
Believe me, these things really do write themselves... typos …
And so it is, we penned each verse with nothing left to say. We rhymed in time to make it fine and quietly walked away to where we go, nobody knows; we'll get there when we know it, on crappy verse we shan't rehearse for fear we just might blow it.
Asheboro, NC-- Journalists for Wackemall Network News dig deep in the search for Parking Meter Heaven only to discover a parking meter hell.
"I heard of a place," she said to me.
"I'm hoping that it's true.
A place called Parking Island
where old meters can renew.
A place to go after we die
and leave this world alone,
where parking meters never cry
and we are all at home."
I didn't know what to say. How could I explain to her that she was just a figment of my imagination and that parking meter poetry-- all 60 plus verses-- along with her very existence, was nothing more than works of twisted fiction? I left her sitting atop the pole dreaming of the day when her maker calls her back to Parking Island.
Well being it was raining buckets full of Saint Bernards and Tigers today I decided there was no need in going in to work at the new Wackemall Media, Mining, Manufacturing, Farming & Transportation... sawmill. After all, we ain't got no logs to cut and we ain't put a roof on it yet.
I think you'll agree, just standing there in the rain all day looking at a wet sawmill didn't seem very intelligent. Even if it is brand spankin' new.
So I decided being a dedicated bachelor and all I'd catch up on a few domestic chores and get my Momma off my back. Seemed like the thing to do.
Well back about 10 years ago I got me eleven pairs of them blue canvas Carhart work pants which I wear 7 days a week. I was a dedicated believer in Levis Jeans before I bought those Carharts but haven't bought a single pair of pants or jeans since buying the Carharts. I used to replace all my jeans once a year, no matter what the brand. And I tried them all. Canvas is hands down a c…
"Don't get too close," his mother cried.
Kal-El could see her fade.
For it was just a trader and his truck
all filled with things to trade.
"But Mom, you always keep me back
like I'm a little boy
when all I want is just to see.
There's nothing I'll destroy."
For even though almost everything in the picking fields was toxic, Lara could not yet make Kal-El understand that too many of the traders themselves were far more dangerous even though she traded with them almost every day.
Unobtainium, they called it
as they dug through fields of trash
hoping they might find a bit
to trade for food or stash
to fill the voids-- an empty gut
or the pain that always stays
while they sing of hope, better times,
and dream of better days.
Like Kal-El, his mother, Lara, was born and raised in the picking fields. Upon finding the 20th century comic book in the field and recognizing that Superman's mother was also named Lara, she named her new born son Kal-El.
A maple slab 1/2" thick, roughly 36" long and a little over 12" wide at the widest point cut April 21, 2017 on a bandsaw mill at the headquarters of Wackemall Media, Mining, Manufacturing, Farming & Transportation... in Ramseur, North Carolina.
21st Century Man
He prefers to live his life alone,
not free, just burning space;
sick of all he can't control,
fed up with the human race.
He sees the world as fallen down
and for him perhaps it's fell,
as he seeks to find asylum
inside his little hell.
Washington, DC-- Are Grocery stores behind the Fast Food Wars, charging slotting fees and running up the cost of groceries? Reporters for Wackemall Network News tried to get to the bottom of this story with the following results.
Deadly Penmanship "I told you I don't do interviews," Big Mac, he said to me. "So why don't you just stop wasting my time? Why won't you let me be?"
" 'Cause I know you know the whereabouts of the clown and all his fries and if you don't start talking, then, Big, you're gonna fry!"
"Poet, don't you threaten me!" I could see Big Mac was mad. "No one pushes Big Mac around. You're gonna be real sad."
I can't say what I did to him but, Big, he paid the cost. Seems even burgers have no taste when they've bled their special sauce.
The Fast Food War has been ignored by the main stream media for longer than any of us have been alive. And if you're shocked by what you're r…
Drivel Cellphones ring insipid tones, Beethoven rolls over to shake his bones, refried rock on the PA plays songs worn out like yesterday’s bad news-- too long it will stay, and so is life-- a thousand songs to jumble in the fray.
A lightning strike-- I’d think it fine, knock it out, burnt to the rind. Anything to change my mind. Poke Salad Anne-- on the radio plays, the finest thing I’ve heard in days. And why do I write this drivel?
So there's this little barbeque restaurant that has been in my neighborhood for like 75 years or so. The parking lot is still gravel, the building is old, but it is still run by the same family who founded it all those many years ago.
I love going to Bernie's Barbeque because the food is good, the service is good, prices are as cheap as anywhere in town, and the staff makes me feel right at home.
Some years ago a lady friend and I decided to go out and grab lunch one day. I'd been seeing her several years, it wasn't a special occasion and she said she didn't care where we went as long as the food was good. So being it's less than a mile from home I suggested barbecue. She agreed barbecue would be fine so off we went.
When we pulled into the parking lot she took one look at the building and said, "I'm not eating in there."
Poet Laureates On Page Three? I guess the hard times for poets never end even if you’re a former United States Poet Laureate. Rita Dove, shown here sans any plumage that didn’t come natural, is a former poet laureate and widely known author who still looks great despite her age.
It’s not every day that a former poet laureate poses in nothing but feathers as a Page 3 Girl so we feel lucky to have plucked her here at Billy's Page 3 Girls. As a matter of fact, the boys in the IT department have this photo of Ms. Rita Dove bareing all, tacked up on the wall downstairs in Momma's basement.
Poet laureate or pigeon? She looks a little shy, don’t you think?
Ms. Dove is a professor at the University of Virginia- Charlottesville, and is married to the author, Fred Viebahn.
If you’d like to learn more about the real Rita Dove and find out why she was once a poet laureate, then click on over to her website and give her a really good look.
My family plants, grows, and gives away vegetables every year. But when I want to grow more herbs than we need for just ourselves they think me crazy. "You've already got Thyme, why do you want to plant more Thyme?" I don't get it. Why is anything that we've never done before prohibited just because we've never done it before? Think of all the amazing things that would have never been accomplished throughout the course of history if my family had ruled the world.
Greensboro, NC-- Currently over $2.7 Million Dollars dating back to 2006 in fines have not been paid by people and companies, for failing to properly feed the parking meters in Downtown Greensboro. While parking meters and their families continue to starve, the cost of keeping the meters exceeds what the meters take in. Meanwhile the meters are unhappy that they earn far less than minimum wage and are unable to provide for themselves and their families.
Parking Meters Demand Suffrage
You say we do not earn our keep.
You say we cannot cope.
But it's not us who makes the rules.
We haven't got a vote.
Make things right, give us a chance.
For once, let us know hope.
Let us control our destiny.
Let Meters have a vote!
Bye, Bye Bunny
Daddy shot the Easter Bunny--
put it in the stew.
I'll never speak to him again.
I swear that's what I'll do.
He'll never get another kiss.
No more will he get hugs.
Me, I'm going to run away
to live with my friend Bugs.
And Daddy better not shoot Bugs Bunny...
Loxahatchee, Fla-- And so it is,, we take a break from the Easter holidaze and look back in time at yet another battle in the recent Fast Food Wars, pitting meat against meat, and wonder who will be the victor who grills the story... and will anybody care?
Wendy's Drive Through
Wendy stayed up late night waiting for her Mom RD. She was feeling fiber fantic as she watched on her TV.
The Burger King was slipping out to slip in her back door but the Baconator was waiting as the King crept 'cross the floor.
The sonic boom was heard for miles as the Baconator fired his rounds, his kids pack bellowed tons of smoke as it knocked ol' BK down.
The Whopper said he heard it from the other side of town and somewhere in the darkness laughs a demented, red haired clown.
One Day Lest all of time should fade away and tomorrow never come; and all that lays before you now suddenly become undone, and everything you've never known should surely go away, I'd think it good I knew you if only for a day
Education is an investment in infrastructure and like all infrastructure, only government can manage it. As a Fiscal Conservative I realize our economy requires that infrastructure requires a certain amount of government oversight and spending that is contrary to what most conservatives whose ideas are grounded only in ideology, preach.
Set admission standards high and send everyone who qualifies to technical schools, colleges, and universities at no cost to the students. Only then will our economy begin to turn around. Only then will we be able to deal with the problems of jobs lost due to automation.
Is It Paint Yet?
I'm often asked, "Is it ready for paint?"
Shoot if it is, sand if it ain't.
I have but a saying, the readiness shows;
go ahead and shoot it--
if it ain't you'll soon know.
And then you can do it again, and again, and again, and...
The Search Continues He climbed upon the mountain top but didn't find it there. Sailed the world's great oceans-- it wasn't anywhere. He flew off into outer space but never caught a glimpse, and though the pain was horrid they never heard him wince. He rambled 'bout the galaxy to where none had ever been, checked every rock and hiding place outside and within. When he found his final resting place, clutched there in his hand was the thing that he'd been searching for... for as long as he was man... kind.
And it had been there all along.
At Grandma's house there was a spring room with a fresh water trough that water always flowed through and a dipper hanging beside it. Best water I ever tasted I drank from that dipper.
Saw a salamander in the trough once. Said to Grandma, "Grandma, there's a salamander in the water trough."
"Well just leave it be," Grandma said.
"But I'm thirsty," I complained.
"Well get you some water," Grandma fussed, "just don't drink the frog."
"But Grandma," I corrected her, "It's not a frog, it's a salamander."
"Well don't drink the salamander," Grandma laughed.
Not many folks here in these united states drink water piped directly from a fresh water spring these days. And in many places the water quality is so poor that salamanders are hard to find. In those days people knew the water was safe to drink if it contained only the occasional salamander or frog. Not so much these days, and springs wit…
The Poet Strikes Back
I only wanted to pen a poem but they had to drag me in, make me do their bidding time and time again. And so it was in bitter rage I raised my poisoned pen determined I would end them all with the words they dared not send...
And oh how they have bled...
Undisclosed location-- While the Fast Food Wars continue to rage on, Wackemall Network News reporters embedded far behind enemy lines discover that even the most hardened solders need a little R & R from time to time.
Fast Food Road Trip We loaded up for the great Southwest. Taco drove the bus. Wendy stayed up late night always causing a big fuss.
Mandarin, she got out somewhere around Loch Mallad. Caesar cried, “I’m hungry.” I told him, “Eat a salad.”
The Frescata Club was closing up by the time we got there, so we drove through the Black Forest with its soquid frosty air.
“Burgers are old fashioned,” Wendy told me as she stripped, looking at me laughing, “Mind if I take a dip?”
Taco parked the bus.
Exclusive coverage of the Fast Food Wars are made possible by Reindeer and the hot chics who fly them.
Looking Backwards Use without consumption warmth without combustion, preposterous as it may surely seem: to ride the coach, not pull it, is every poor man's dream. Rewards in yet another world-- the promise they all seek but truth be told, the lie is gold with no rest for the meek. Endure all that you cannot cure, be still and don't complain for in the end when you look back the world won't know your names.
This week’s all nude page three girl is none other than the beautiful Mimi Daraphet, AKA: Bultar Swan. A resident of Sydney, Australia, and graduate of architecture from the University of NSW, Miss. Swan is right at home displaying her plumage in front of the camera. Seen here, bare of her light saber and stripped of all her weapons except her honker, Bultar hardly looks like the Jedi warrior she played in the movie, Star Wars, but make no doubt this hottie can do what comes natural just as quickly as any chic in the pond.
Doesn’t she look cute surrounded in green slime?
Billy's Page 3 Girls and Wackemall.com are brought to you by self-depreciating, crazy old men with nothin' better to do and no one better to do it with. And by flash backs. Lots of flash backs.
Petaluma, CA-- Once known as the Egg Capital of the World, Petaluma, California is now the place where parking meters are leading a nationwide movement as Petaluma's parking meters express their concerns about being treated as second class citizens, and thought of as nothing more than municipal property.
Pick Up Parking Meter Still I sit atop this pole,
a heart of steel,
still a fragile soul.
You leave your money
then walk away
never taking the time
to hear me say,
"How do you like your eggs?"
And so it is, the post modern story of parking meter poetry and those we too often ignore. So as parking meters struggle for recognition today will tomorrow find them struggling for equal rights as well? Stay tuned to Wackemall Network News to find out.
By Their Own Hand Each bitter verse behind us now,
the battle rages on
while children cry and young men die,
the old men, they hold on
to lost ideals, their bitter pills
ideas of their own making
for as they do condemn us now
the earth beneath them shaking.
Swallowed up by their own hate,
they lash, intent to drag us down
never seeing as they do
our weight will make them drown
washed away, a flood of green
they stole from each and all
until the weight of their own greed
forced their very fall.
The lions came, clouds filled the skies-- the mountian kept watch too. Evil money paid our way and helped to get us through. Where once inside a wizard told us what to do. "Go back inside," he told us, "this freedom's not for you."
And we shouted, "Death to the wizard!" as freedom dragged us down.
Most so called conservatives don't know what fiscal conservatism really is. Like most people, they think being fiscally conservative means never spending money. I'm a fiscal conservative and capitalist who understands that fiscal conservatism and capitalism both work best when people's basic needs are first met.
Just ask Henry Ford who was hated by every car maker, industrialist, and factory owner of his day because he actually paid his employees enough to buy new Model T automobiles at a time when workers at all the other car makers and big factories were still walking to work.
Starving your customers out of the market will never build your business, nor will it support an economy.
Greensboro, NC-- While nationwide sales have been a struggle for the red headed clown as a result of the Fast Food Wars, Greensboro, North Carolina is among the McDonald's capitals of the USA. This has caused local leaders like Greensboro Mayor Nancy Barakat Vaughan to fear that Greensboro McDonald's may soon become the center of terrorist attacks or perhaps even targets in the Fast Food Wars.
Drive Thru Bombers Ronald closed the drive thru to lessen their attacks put up a sign, "The lobby's open." But the crowds would not come back.
And the passing cars just speed away.
So it is, another great Greensboro tourist destination devastated by the mere threat of the Fast Food War while the main stream media continues to ignore what's happening on their very own street. They say the biggest lies are the easiest to tell but what about the lies of omission? And me, I'm thinking about calling Sting.
I started testing this closed grill on my '88 Dodge Ram 150 powered by a 318 cubic inch TBI engine
over 2 years ago and am happy to say I've had no issues with overheating even at speeds well above 70 miles per hour or stuck in city traffic at almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit (37.7778 Celsius.)
But all that time was without a front bumper which might effect the airflow from down low.
As I've finally settled on a design for my bumper that will be lower to the ground than the original bumper, I thought today would ne a good time to build an air dam that will help channel air flow through a vent I'm planning on putting in the middle of the new bumper, and redirect that air to the radiator, air conditioning condenser, and the huge aftermarket transmission cooler I installed some years back to keep the 767 Torque flite Automatic Transmission cool.
I began by cutting a piece of steel angle to length and bolting it across the frame rails after painting it with Rust-Oleum rust…
Always The Fool The fool, living the fool's dream waiting for nothing, something or in between will never be happy, will always be blue; always be lonely always be the fool...
except on April Fools' Day