Showing posts from June, 2016

A Day In The Life

Years ago, when I was about 25, I was driving a tractor-trailer for a concrete block company delivering block all over NC, SC, VA and east Tennessee. Then I was second shift supervisor in the block plant 5 nights a week and Saturday mornings.
Often my deliveries required I leave home at midnight to get there on time. Second shift didn't end until 11:00 PM. The long hours and stress were taking its toll.
One Saturday morning early I went in, fired up the concrete plant and started getting everything ready. Come starting time none of the 10 man crew was there. I kept the machines warming up and waited about 15 minutes. Still nobody showed up.
I called my boss but didn't get an answer so I called his boss-- the owner of the company. His wife answered the phone.
I explained to her that I was at work but no one had showed up but me-- it was impossible to run the entire plant alone. The phone went quite for a while then she said, "Billy, it's Sunday morning. We're always cl…

Birds, Bees and Hamsters

Selling pets can get interesting sometimes. As I was putting a dwarf hamster into a cage for this little Hispanic girl she asked me, "How do you tell the girls from the boys?"
This kid might have been six. Had she been my daughter we would have taken the opportunity to learn boy hamsters from girl hamsters. (With my glasses on I can actually find their tiny parts.) But there is no way in hell I'm going to explain this to another man's baby girl. I looked at her father and said, "I'll show your daddy so he will remember, okay?"
Suddenly her daddy, a great big Hispanic man, looked to be horrified. Obviously he wasn't ready for this conversation either. He looked at me and said, "Just put one of each in the cage and the hamsters can figure it out."
I laughed, he laughed, his wife laughed, the little girl and her sisters were clueless. I put a male in the cage to go with the female and said, "No charge for the second one."
He shook my ha…

Yankees Eat Chitterlings Too

I was driving a tractor-trailer and had to enter the city about 2AM to beat the traffic and be at my dock by my 5 AM scheduled unloading time. Of course, despite being quite prompt the consignee didn't need what was on my trailer until later in the day so I got pushed back. It was well past Noon before I got unloaded, I had unloaded 44,000 Lbs of freight by hand, had not ate since the day before and was HUNGRY.

Now as anyone who knows Brooklyn knows, places to park long tractor-trailers as are used in coast to coast shipping are few and far between but eventually I did find a portion of the right side of the road just long enough to fit truck and trailer near a sign that read, "Deli."

Now granted I knew what a deli was but having grow up in North Carolina had never before seen a real deli.But when it comes to eating I've always been the adventurous sort so I wasn't scared at all.

When I walked in there was this big stereotypical Italian butcher stuffi…


Pandas are black and white. And they don't have a problem with that.

Have They Thought This Thing Out?

Driverless Trucks

Will driverless trucks stop to pick up homeless hitchhikers
as they make their way to places where
they have been told there are jobs to be had?

Will driverless trucks swerve to miss a baby playing in the street
and kill themselves in the process?
Or will they think it only a small animal and use minimal braking?

Will driverless trucks stop when protestors block the streets
 or will they be programmed to kill?

Will driverless trucks replace the drivers in truck bombs?

How To Store Onions

So I've been cleaning up in the shed this morning, picking up a bunch of sockets and ratchets that fell to the floor when I knocked them off the work bench some time back.
I looked up from where I was working and saw the remains of several nylon stockings tied to nails on the rafters above. That's odd, I thought. I got up to investigate closer.
It was when I spotted the almost 40 year old sticker with the word "Vidalia" that it came to me why the stockings were there.
About 40 years ago when Daddy and I were trucking together we picked up a tractor-trailer load of Vidalia Onions at a shipper in Vidalia County, Georgia. I can't remember where we hauled them to but when we got there we had more cases of onions on the trailer than the customer wanted.
The customer didn't want to pay for any extra onions and the shipper didn't want to give them to the customer for free so as sometimes happens in trucking our dispatcher told us to find a dumpster somewhere and tos…

Mini Nuggets For Sale

Sophia, NC-- Reporters for Wackemall Network News were amused Saturday when they witnessed a little boy approximately 3 years of age run up to a pet vendor at the 311 Flea Market, point at the parakeets and shouted, "Look, chicken nuggets!"

His mother quickly dragged him away as vendors and customers laughed.

This edition of the the Wackemall Network News has been brought to you by the Campaign to Elect Billy Jones, Mayor of Greensboro 2017.