Gerbils Escape Governor's Task Force

 Frogsboro, NC-- The Governor's Task Force, consisting of National Guard troops and law enforcement officers from jurisdictions all over North Carolina is reporting that after 2 days inside a fumigation tent that possibly as many as a million gerbils have managed to escape unnoticed while surrounded by hundreds of armed marksmen including members of the Caswell Shooting Range.

While more than a dozen dead  PIGs  (People Idolizing Gerbils) were found inside, the only gerbil remnants were millions of tooth marks, hairs and gerbil dung on almost everything inside the Old Lea Bethel Baptist Church where the Gerbils and PIGs have been hold up since Monday morning.

A spokesman for the Governor's Task Force, assembled to carryout his GAG (Gerbils Asphyxiated and Ground up) Order, stated that the gerbils gnawed a hole in the floor then tunneled their way to an exit near Frogsboro Lake west of the church.

Residents of Frogsboro, Leasburg, Hightowers and other nearby communities remain on alert after gerbil attacks in Horneytown, in Grimes Crossroads, in Colfax simultaneously in Summerfield, Oak Ridge and Stokesdale, and in Greensboro.


 While the reason for these attacks are not yet proven, researchers are pointing to possible military experiments that were conducted at the Oak Ridge Military Institute and warning people everywhere not to feed Wackemall to animals.
 
Old Lea Bethel Baptist Church Associate Pastor Alan Brice Bottoms announced that tonight's scheduled cantata practice scheduled for 6:15 PM will have to be moved to nearby Allen's Chapel Baptist Church to make time to clean things up. He also asked that any local farmers in need of gerbil dung for compost please contact him.

Stay tuned to Wackemall Network News for the latest updates on this and other breaking stories. 

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