Oct 17, 2015

Zack Methany Arrested Again

Greensboro, NC-- Greensboro Police arrested former city councilman Zack Matheny for the second time in 24 hours early this morning when a patrol officer noticed Matheny's black Land Rover swerving wildly from lane to lane while traveling north on Church Street at 2:46 AM.

Susan Danielsen with the Greensboro Police Department said an officer pursued Mr Methany for 2 miles before finally pulling him over in the same abandoned Harris Teeter parking lot he was arrested in the morning before.

According to police reports, Mr Methany then jumped from his car and began wildly dancing in the parking lot, tearing off his clothes and loudly singing, "More, more, more!"

Suspected of being intoxicated, Mr Methany was tested on the scene and found to be under the influence of Wackemall.

While Wackemall that has been processed is perfectly safe, has no side effects and causes no intoxication of any kind, unrefined Wackemall is known to cause extreme intoxication and drunkeness even greater than alcohol.

When questioned, Mr Methany explained he was simply transporting the Wackemall on behalf of Wackemall Mining, Manufacturing & Farming... a company once headquarted in Greensboro but recently moved to Ramseur. Mr Methany was unable to explain why the entire contents of his supposed shipment appeared to be inside his body and making its way through his central nervous system.

According to Susan Danielsen, Mr Methany was cited with DWI and driven to his home by the arresting officer.

Stay tuned to Wackemall Network News for the latest updates.