Mar 23, 2018

Everybody Loves Parking Meters

Happy Shiny Parking Meters

I'm tarnished, bent, there's sometimes rust.
Once a year, the city paints and dusts.
Then the bikers come on steel steeds to roam
and I'm thinking, Why can't I be chromed?

Alas, the Saga of the Lowly Parking Meters continues... Why? Because, like your lowly scribe, they too have a voice few want to hear and even fewer will ever know.

Stay tuned next time when a parking meter says.....What, you really think parking meters talk to me? You must be loony tunes.

Mar 22, 2018

Why The Haters Will Always Be Among Us

Sadly, and contrary to popular opinion, spewing hate upon others seemingly extends one's lifespan almost indefinitely. Don't wait for the hateful old bastards to die as they'll probably out live you.

Before It Happened In The Middle East

Grass Food Uprising

Chili cheese tots lead the march.
Fries were close behind.
The King, he laughed, "I'm in control
and everything is fine."
But toaster clubs had networked
through Twitter, to put him down,
saying, "Damn the King, give back our grease
and pull the plug on the clown!"

Yes it's true, history repeats itself and even before Twitter, Facebook or even Digg, there was an uprising those in the Middle East would someday emulate. And that uprising was the Fast Food War.

Mar 21, 2018

Things That Go Boom

Most boys grow up fascinated with things that go boom. Thankfully, most boys discover fast cars, wild girls, alcohol, drugs, and motorcycles.

You know, all the things your mothers warned you about and the preachers told us we'd go to hell for.

Mar 20, 2018

Long Live Blue Collar Poets


I can write for you a poem,
profess my love to thee
but I am just a common bard
and rich I'll never be.
I'll never be a laureate
celebrated 'cross the land
for laureates are noble men
and I'm the common man.

I could pen my saga, days a sail
and days against the plow,
days labored in factories
sweat upon my brow.
I could tell you of the misery
of the men on the prison yard,
but I'll never write of victories
for I'm just a common bard.

I could tell you of the struggles
of a thousand men like me,
dreamers, each and every one
of dreams that cannot be.
But my name you'll never honor
despite the times I spared
for I am but a common man
penning words, a common bard.

Don't Tell Me What To Do

I get it, people don't like being told what to do or how to live their lives. But smart people prefer to be warned of impending crashes before they run out of road.

Sadly, too many folk just aren't smart.

Mar 19, 2018

Have You Hugged Your Parking Meter Today?

Getting To Know Your Parking Meter

You think your money's all I want.
You think you're such a looker.
Well money isn't everything,
I'm a meter, not a hooker.
How 'bout we take the time to talk
instead of trying to snooker,
to get out of the old rat race--
out of this pressure cooker...

Parking Meter Poetry is made possible by a grant from....... Who am I kidding, nobody's going to buy this goofy s......