Jun 23, 2017

No Parking This Block

This parking meter poem has been made possible by literate parking meters who willingly submit their poetry to Parking Meter Poetry and by feet, the 50 mile per gallon alternative to parking meters.

Parking Meter's Day Off

"No parking, no parking,
there's a bag on my head
with lots of white letters
all shiny and red.
There's a bag on my head,
I'm trying to sleep?
And don't blow your horn
not even a beep.."

What? You were expecting some deep meaning? From a parking meter?

Jun 22, 2017

History Of Wackemall: Part 66, Magen Eller

Perhaps you've never read this wondrous quote by Greensboro, North Carolina resident Magen Eller, one who desired to live boldly and did so.

"I'll never cease to ponder the why and what of who I am. If I'm insane, so what? I'm happy. Are you?"

Megan was born in the town of Castalia, North Carolina (pop 268) before making her way to Asheboro and later to Greensboro where she set about to change the world by never asking to do the right thing.

But was this really what Megan first wrote?

As it turns out, researchers from Wackemall University located in Ramseur, North Carolina, just a few miles from where Magen once lived in Asheboro, recently discovered a scrap of paper on a dig in the local landfill that read:

"I'll never cease to ponder the why and what of who I am. If I'm wackemall, so what? I'm happy. Are you?"

It was signed, M Eller.

The guys in the white coats are currently carbon dating the paper to determine its age and requesting handwriting samples from Ms Eller's family.

The History Of Wackemall is filled with references to great men and great women who have wackemalled throughout the ages-- some you've known and some you might not have known. And while much remains sketchy the folks at Wackemall University encourage you to follow along as they continue to uncover more great history brought to you by Wackemall Media, Mining, Manufacturing, Farming & Transportation... Wackemall.com

Tyrannicides Wanted?

Found on Craigslist. Click on the image to view full-size.

Jun 21, 2017

Golden Tortoise Beatles

 I found this pair of Golden Tortoise Beatles doing the beetle boogie on a Bindweed leaf growing next to my red Bergamot.

At first glance I thought I had found something manmade attached to the leaf but as you can see in the second photo there are two of them.

According to Wikipedia, adult Golden Tortoise Beatles  "can turn from shiny gold through reddish-brown when disturbed." I just thought them pretty.

They feed on bindweeds, morning glories, and sweet potato leaves. There's always plenty of  bindweeds and wild morning glories that need pulling up and because I'm not growing sweet potatoes this year I don't think they'll become a problem.

The Bergamot, also known as   bee balm, horsemint, oswego tea, and Monarda. It is a member of the mint family and has several uses including both medicinal and as the source of bergamot oil used to flavor Earl Grey tea.

Also according to Wikipedia, "Bergamot is a source of bergamottin which, along with the chemically related compound 6',7'-dihydroxybergamottin, is known to be responsible for grapefruit–drug interactions in which the consumption of the juice affects the metabolism of a variety of pharmaceutical drugs." So if your doctor has told you not to eat grapefruit or drink grapefruit juice, you should probably be avoiding Earl Gray and Bergamont.

Well that just sucks. First they take away my grapefruit and now this.

Southern Fried Condemned To Die

Chicago, Il-- In what can only be described as a massacre, invaders from the south have overrun this once great Midwestern city. Wackemall Network News brings you the story of the Fast Food Wars in the Windy City.

Southern Fried Sweet Apple Pie

Her turkey breasts were firm and fresh
as the Subway's lights went down
on tader tots too hot to trot--
salsa spilled upon the ground.
Her taco, it was open wide
and screaming, "Where's the beef?"
while old McDonald watched us all
and the Big Fish swam the reef.

She was southern fried, sweet apple pie
so sweet she'd make you rot
and all the fries who went inside
deserved just what they got.
And though they'd planned to wash their hands
it'd not cure what they got
for even though she fed them all
she burnt the whole lot.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the restaurant, Fast Food Delights and late night fights, they haunt your every bite-- good to the last drop! Er... fall to the floor, that is.

Jun 20, 2017

When You Can't Fix What's Broken...

Broken Motorcycle, Broken Rider

My bike is broken and I am too.
My hand in a splint, my bike needs new screws.
I'd try to fix it but can't use my hand
so riding now ain't in my plans.
I dream of wind blowing on my face
to quell my pain, back in the chase.
But the biggest thing that makes me blue...

Well I can tell you gal, it sure ain't you.

The Way Things Used To Be.

Sometimes you must accept the fact that things never were like you thought they were.
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