Jun 18, 2019

Astrayphobia

The fear of ashtrays.

Sometimes associated with FOFO, a fear or flying objects.

Jun 17, 2019

Two Eagles Talking

"Where have you been, Stranger? Why I haven't seen you since the Holidaze."

"Speaking of Holidaze, Punxsutawney Phil told me to tell you hello."

"Is that where you've been, with Phil?"

"Actually I flew around the world."

"All the way around the world?"

"Both ways, east to west and north to south."

"But that's over 48,000 miles, why so far?"

" 'Cause I wanted to see for myself if this global warming thing people keep fighting about is true."

"Well is it?"

"Is what?"

"Is global warming true?"

"Everywhere except Washington, DC."

"So it's not getting hotter in Washington, DC?"

"Who says?"

"You did."

"No I didn't, it's long past that."

"It is, really?"

"Yep, everyone who goes to Washington, DC gets their brains fried."

"That explains a lot."



Photo via doc ellen of dreamingsongsphotos, Jordan Lake, North Carolina.


Get the best of Two Eagles Talking, feathers and all, right here at Wackemall.com You know, as long as we can stand the heat.

May 31, 2019

Sometimes I Say Exactly What I Think

Some years ago I was delivering the 3rd tractor-trailer load of decorative paver blocks to a new lakefront mansion on Lake Norman. There were dozens of young Hispanic workers busting ass everywhere as lots of new homes were being built there.

As I waited for the fork lift operator to finish the truck in front of me a new Benz drove up and a man in his 60s got out along with a very stunning 20 something female, "Oh Honey," she exclaimed, "It's going to be beautiful. Do you think I could go inside?"

"Sure," he said, "the inside is almost finished. I'm going to try to find the contractor."

He was walking my way and being the sort who will strike up a conversation with anyone I asked," Is this your house?"

"Yes it is," he answered. "Having it custom built just for the wife."

"Must be nice to have that kind of cash," I said.

"Oh," he replied, "I don't have that kind of money. I've got a 30 year mortgage. There's no way I could pay cash for that."

"Must have a pretty good job," I said, "what do you do?"

"I'm in the Internet business," he answered.

"So let me get this straight," I teased, "if the economy goes to hell that young wife is going to ditch your ass and 4 families of Mexicans will end up living in this house you just blew your wad to make the down payment on. Is that about right?"

I'll never forget the look on his face. He never said a word.

That was 1998, just before the Dot Com bust.

May 30, 2019

I'd Rather Be...

Most people think they would rather be a hammer than a nail, but a nail only takes one beating.

May 27, 2019

No Matter Where You Stand

A politician bought is a politician bought no matter how high the office.

She's Going To Need A Big Box

Found the following ad on Craigslist so I decided to save it to the Lost and Found. Feel free to claim it, just don't expect to get it back.


May 24, 2019

It's Always About The Money


Funny how behind every "progressive/socialist "paradise" there's a conservative getting fucking rich; rank and file conservatives are too stupid to know it, and liberal leaders won't admit it.