Aug 24, 2019

Washed Away

Mountain Men

Mountains loom over the valleys
like sentinels over prisoners on guard
surrounding them, halting their freedom,
their future forever marred.
But the wind and the rain are both allies
eroding the mountains in time,
'til all is at peace in the valleys
and the mountains are lost to the brine.

Aug 23, 2019

Libertarians

I don't think I've ever met a real Libertarian. Is that something like one of those horses with a single horn? What do you call those things? Mermaids?

Stupid Money For Stupid Promises

People will willingly pay stupid money for stupid things... especially promises that will never be kept.

Aug 20, 2019

It's All In Choosing The Right Weapon

Don Quixote de la Mancha wasn't a fool for thinking he could kill windmills, he simply didn't go about it the right way. A big enough stick in the spokes will bring any windmill to a crashing halt! A tiny sword, not so much.

Aug 14, 2019

Slug Head

So why do I call my next door neighbor's cat, Slug Head? Odd name for a cat.

I've never known his real name or if he even had a name so I used to call him, Charlie. He seemed okay with it as long as he was able to steal away some of my cat's food every morning. It has become such a habit that Slug Head as I now call him now spends most nights on my back porch waiting for me to come out and feed my cat, Miss Panther at 6:30 each morning before going home to a second breakfast later. But I digress.

You see, a few weeks ago I went out on my porch at 6:30 and there sat Miss Panther in one chair and Charlie sleeping away in another chair... with a slimy slug crawling across his head. "Good morning, Slug Head," was the first thing that popped out of my mouth. "Are you and Miss Panther ready for breakfast?"

He chowed down his breakfast not even realizing he had a slug on his head while Miss Panther only stared, not knowing quite what to think.

In my mind I picture Slug Head pulling an all night bender, perhaps overdosing on catnip to the point that anything could have walked across his head and he wouldn't have known it. Then waking up with the munchies as it certainly didn't diminish his appetite in the least. Or maybe he enjoys being covered in slug slime, I don't know.

Anyway, as far as I'm concerned his name is now Slug Head and I call him that every time I see him.

Aug 12, 2019

Two Eagles Talking

"You know I was talking to my friend about the
Endangered Species Act just the other day and how it has helped us eagles escape extension but then I found out this morning that some deplorable hunter shot and killed my friend just yesterday just so my friend could become a trophy."

"Somehow it just don't seem right."

"Why just this week deplorables all over the country were up in arms about some Hollywood movie called, The Hunt, in which rich hunters used deplorables for game but in the movie the deplorables fought back and killed the hunters."

"Sadly we Eagles and most other animals on the Endangered Species List can't kill deplorable hunters. What is it with humans?"

"It just doesn't seem fair."

"It's not that I've got anything against hunting. We eagles hunt most every day. But you won't see any trophies on an eagle's nest. We hunt for food. And had my friend gotten eaten by some coyote I'd at least know he died so the coyote could live."

"I'd rather be with my friend, talking about all the silly things people like we used to do but instead I'm sitting here on this limb all alone missing my friend while some president in Washington says movies about killing deplorables are bad but deplorable hunters killing us eagles is a okay."


Photo via New York Times.

Get the best of Two Eagles Talking straight from the roost, right here at Wackemall.com
That is, until all the talking eagles are gone.

Aug 10, 2019

The Story Of The Top 100 Movie Quotes

As taken from Infoplease Top 100 Movie Quotes  and arranged into the story you see below.



“Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.” “Round up the usual suspects.”  “I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.” “There's no place like home.”

“They call me Mister Tibbs!”  “Rosebud.” “Why don't you come up sometime and see me?” “Is it safe?” “The stuff that dreams are made of.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.”

 "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." “What we've got here is failure to communicate.” “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” “You talking to me? “You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender."

“Houston, we have a problem.” “Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.” “Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.” “You're gonna need a bigger boat.” “May the Force be with you.” “E.T. phone home.”

“Here's looking at you, kid.” “Go ahead, make my day.” “All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.” “What a dump.” “Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?” “As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.” “Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

“Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!” “Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?” “You had me at ‘hello.’” “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

“Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!” “Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!” “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

“Made it, Ma! Top of the world!” “I am big! It's the pictures that got small.” “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.” “Show me the money!” “I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!” “I see dead people.”  “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

“I'm walking here! I'm walking here!” “You can't handle the truth!” “I want to be alone.” “After all, tomorrow is another day!”

“Stella! Hey, Stella!” “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates." "You just put your lips together and blow.” “My precious.” “Say “hello” to my little friend!” “Plastics.”

“Love means never having to say you're sorry.” “A boy's best friend is his mother.” “We rob banks.” “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.” “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” “Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars.” “We'll always have Paris.” “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

“Shane. Shane. Come back!” “It's alive! It's alive!” “Well, nobody's perfect.” “There's no crying in baseball!” “La-dee-da, la-dee-da.”

 “Bond. James Bond.” “If you build it, he will come. “I'll have what she's having.”  “I'll be back.”

 “Yo, Adrian!” “Hello, gorgeous.” “No wire hangers, ever!” “Soylent Green is people!” “Elementary, my dear Watson.”

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” “Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown. “Here's Johnny!” “Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!” “They're here!” “Hasta la vista, baby.”

“I feel the need - the need for speed!” “Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.” “Toga! Toga!” “Attica! Attica!” “Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast.” “Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.”

“I'm king of the world!” “Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!” “My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.”

 “I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”  “Who's on first.” "Do I look like I give a damn?"

“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” “Snap out of it!” “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.” "Surely you can't be serious." "I am serious…and don't call me Shirley" “Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?”

“Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!”



Well that's how I did it, how would you do it?