Aug 28, 2016

Harry Ramsden Goes To America

Fish And Chips Across The Pond

Big Mac was chained in onion rings,
the Fries, all standing guard
while Fish and Chips in blue helmets
flew in from Scotland Yard

"Harry Ramsden's moving in,"
a spud was heard to say,
"and things will never be the same,
the Brits are here to stay."

Is it true? Are we once again to hear the call, "The British are coming, the British are coming!" on American soil? Will Big Mac ever free himself from his chain of onion rings? Find out next time when Ronald McDonald says, "........."

Oh, that's right, Ronald never talks. Find out next time when the Burger King says, "..........." Oh wait, BK never talks either, just stands there with that evil, perverted look on his face.

Oh well, stay tuned for the latest news from the front of the Fast Food Wars right here at Wackemall.com.

Fast Food Skates Past The King?

Freshville Follies

The King, he drove to Freshville--
found Sonic waiting there.
The tots sped past on roller skates.
Chill Thrills were everywhere.
He reached to push the button.
He's planned to mix it up
but Sonic double dogs the King
and Happy Hour erupts!

Another setback for BK as he attempts to rule the world and World War III, more commonly know as the Fast Food Wars, continue here at Wackemall.com.

It Comes With The Territory

I decided this morning that because most of the garden has been harvested it would again be okay to allow my chickens free range of the entire back yard until planting time rolls back 'round. I really don't like confining them to the small chicken yard but the damage they do to the garden is completely beyond belief so throughout the Spring and Summer growing seasons their vegetables are all cuttings, trimmings, table scraps and the occasional fruit and vegetable that doesn't look as good as those we reserve for our table.

In other words, my chickens eat better than some people in the world and all I ask is eggs.

After releasing them to the yard they happily scattered out looking for bugs, grubs, plants, worms and anything else they might scratch up to eat, ignoring their chicken feed altogether. That is, all except the old rooster who followed me as I walked back into the garden to survey the few things left growing there.

When I turned around, there he was-- attack mode, wings outstretched, feathers ruffled, feet ready to flog. He pecked me on my boot-- a challenge. "Really," I said, "You have this whole yard and you have to have this spot? Why don't you get something to eat instead? And I'll go in the house and do the same, deal?"

I assumed the most non threatening posture I could imagine and attempted to walk around him but no, he blocked my way again, and again pecked my boot.

Now I could easily kill this rooster but I don't. As far as roosters go he is a lousy fighter who always attacks from the front and always attacks my boots. He's probably too fat to fly up and flog my face where he might actually do some damage. Besides, I've grown fond of him over the years. I just know to always wear boots when I'm near him.

He repeatedly blocked my path despite my every effort to make a passive escape. No, I didn't hurt him, I just allowed him to attack my boots just as he always does and as I locked the gate behind me he crowed his victory crow, again, just as he always does.

So why does he attack me? He never attacks my mother. He never attacks women, He never attacks children. He doesn't even attack the younger roosters. He only attacks men-- grown men. That old rooster attacks me because I'm a man.

Just like some people I know.

And I continue to allow them to hang around unmolested as well.

Territory, think about it.

Downtown Greensboro Parking Blues

They gave you a ticket,
it's not our fault.
We warned high tech would be that way
before that crap was bought.

But you just had to have it,
you had to cut us down
so now we meter deserts
and you can't park downtown.

Once again, Another American city sells their reliable old parking meters at public auction only to replace them with high tech electronics that never work but in Greensboro, North Carolina they take it one step farther, they ticket drivers for parking at broken electronic meters.

Aug 27, 2016

North Carolina Under Attack

Raleigh, NC-- Satellite images show a strange green invader has covered much of the State of North Carolina. Millions are trapped with no way out as this strange green mass threatens to move north to Virginia. North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory has declared a state of emergency but the North Carolina National Guard is already trapped.




Learn more at VegetableStalker.com.

And stay tuned to Wackemall Network News for the latest updates.

Northampton's Racist Parking Meters?

They talk about upgrades,
credit cards and dumb apps,
while we try to warn you.
Are you deaf, perhaps?
We're always work ready, always embolded,
and here in Northampton
we're color coded!

As always, the parking meters of the world continue to send me Parking Meter Poetry to tell me of their plight and warn you, Dear Motorist. of the scourge of technology driven by greed. Why before you know it cities will be using technology that automatically charges your credit card for parking any time your car should even get near one of those new fangled electronic app thingies.

What then? You'll wish for old school parking meters, that's what.

Parking Meters Reject App Technology

First you try to cheat us,
just not pay at all.
Then you switched to credit cards
to bring about our fall.
Now with new technology
you lure us to your trap.
Well just show us your money
'cause we don't want your app!

Sad but true, parking meters all over the nation are growing concerned that new technologies might not pay off for them and only end up being profitable for the designers of high tech applications and software designers who cash in via remote and run with the money while the parking meters remain attached to their polls unable to pursue.
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