Jan 22, 2017

Words For Those Who Lead Us

Shiny Things

Twisted words cannot erase
the pain you leave behind,
wipe the memories of the past,
bring vision to the blind.
The lies you tell won't cover all
the damage you'll soon do
for little more than shiny things
for which you're never due.

Written June 22, 2013

Who Will Billy Eat Next?

Dear Angus, Where Are You Tonight?

A Thickburger came to visit.
A Fish Supreme came too.
They turned me on to Angus,
there’s nothing she’d not do.

“Too thick, too thick!” the Whoppers say,
“Call Arby, we’re coming to kick beef today.”

Curly Fry, she called her trashy,
said, “Angus, she’s a cow.”
But the wondrous things dear Angus did--
can’t talk about that now.

And Hardee played his guitar,
Ode To An Apple Pie,
while Thickburger and Fish Supreme
set ‘round getting high.

“Too thick, too thick!” the Whoppers say,
“Call Arby, we’re coming to kick beef today.”

And inside they’re selling tickets,
Busch Country, Water Gardens, USA.
Get your special offers here,
and “How can I help you today?”

But that was oh so long ago,
now Angus is a dream,
a memory, I never had,
a reason for this theme.

“Too thick, too thick!” the Whoppers say,
“Call Arby, we’re coming to kick beef today.”

And if you see my Angus,
tell her, please come back home,
I’m hangin’ out with Hardee
singin’ ‘bout being alone.

And so the Fast Food Delights continue despite the Fast Food Wars. Fast Food Poetry and exclusive coverage of the Fast Food Wars is made possible by anyone who is willing to pay me to go away.

Ivanka Trump Nude On Page 3

Everybody has seen First Lady Melania Trump in the nude but how about the President's daughter, the beautiful Ivanka Trump in beautiful photos from the House of Cards? No, you weren't rooked this time, Ivanka trumps even the hottest of Billy's Page Three Girls in this Wackemall.com exclusive. 

But wait, that's not all, we also have Ivanka's beautiful. half sister, Tiffany Trump just glittering for all of you to see. Tiffany, the daughter of The Donald and actress, Marla Maples, took time off from her studies at the University of Pennsylvania recently to pose for this shot in what is without a doubt the first sisters, two up Page 3 Girls exclusive anywhere.
Now beat that you British tabloids. It might be that you Brits invented Page 3 Girls but thanks to we Americans here at Billy's Page Three Girls, you've been trumped-- twice.
Remember: here at Wackemall Mining, Manufacturing, Farming & Transportation... we don't just whack 'em, we wackemall!

Chuck doesn't know it yet but this edition of Billy's Page 3 Girls has been made possible by Chuck's Landscaping. Business is slow this time of the year, give Chuck a call and get him out of the house.

Tiffany Lamp via Wikipedia.

Jan 21, 2017


Sellouts are so many
and lovers never know
the secrets of the apple
frozen in the soul
Clouds cannot support our dreams
Stop, do not proceed!
The mighty Thor can't save you now,
he's caught up in the weed

Never seen a link poem before? Read the poem then go back and read it while clicking on each of the highlighted words. Then maybe you'll get it. I've no idea who invented the link poem but I've been writing them for 10 years or more.

Things I Found On The Web Today, Part 8

The left brain and the right brain
don't always agree
but they're always together.

Keyboard shortcuts are cool
and will get you there faster
except when they don't.

You can write a novel
with a snowflake. Cool,
but will anyone read it after it dries?

You can do the Dubstep
anywhere you like--
just don't expect to travel far.

The McKinley Health Center
will help you design a resistance training program
but they won't get you out of the bed.

Jan 20, 2017

Nothin' Special, Adventures On My Talking Motorcycle: Page 16

Continued from Adventures On My Talking Motorcycle

In about ten minutes or so a well dressed man who I'd say was about 60 years old and looking quite fit for his age, walked into the room and sat down at the table across from me. He sat there looking at me for a couple of minutes not saying a word, looked all around the room then said, "Place your palms flat on the table."

I did as he instructed and asked, "Now what?"

"No matter what happens," he said, "be still. Do not move your hands and do not show what is in your hand to the camera."

"But there's nothing in my hand," I said.

"Give it a minute," He smiled.

In just a minute I felt something under my right hand. "Don't show it to the camera," he warned, "Just act like nothing is happening and slip it into your pocket."

I did as he said and asked, "What is it?"

"It's a transponder," he said.

"You mean one of those things that talks to the satellites?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, "except that we've modified that one."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Sergey Brin," he smiled. "I came here from the year 2590 where I'm the richest man in the world. My great, great, great, great something of the other was one of the founders of Google along with a man named Larry Page."

"You're the people who rule the world," I said.

"Not in 2590," he said, "and I hope we never rule it again."

"You don't want to rule the world?" I asked.

"No," Sergey replied, "that was never our dream."

"So how did it happen?" I asked.

"After the economy crashed," he explained, "my ancestors and their partners started working to put the world back together again, but when Larry Page died his shares of stock fell into the wrong hands and others got control of the company. It took two generations for my family to regain control of Google and give the world back to the people."

"So," I asked, "If you're from 2590, what are you doing in 2050, and how in the hell did I get here."

"On our motorcycle," Mr Brin smiled. "You got to the year 2050 on our motorcycle." I just stared at him not knowing what to say or do next.

Mr Brin went on to explain that Google had been working with the United States Military on time travel research for almost as long as Google had been in business. And after things fell apart, Google continued to work on time travel until finally achieving success in the year 2417.

But along the way, in the year 2030, Google had discovered evidence that future time travelers had been returning on time machines that were hidden in reproductions of cars, trucks and motorcycles. Regretfully, some of those vehicles eventually turned up in the hands of people who, like myself, didn't know what they had.

Most of the time it wasn't a problem as the machines wouldn't time travel unless you knew how to make them do so. There was talking and other unusual behaviors but time travel just didn't happen. That is, except in the case of Nothin' Special who time traveled whenever she took the notion to do so.

The Google engineers of 2050 had figured out that Nothin' Special possessed time travel technology and were trying to figure it out. The Google engineers of 2590, knowing the history, were afraid of what Google 2050 might do with it if they got it to work. "So what about me," I asked. "How do I fit in to all this?"

"We want you to get on your motorcycle," Sergey said, "and ride back to 1992. Then stay there until 1993 comes along."

"Well I'm all for that, but how?"

"Put your palms flat on the table."

I felt the familiar feeling of a Yamaha ignition key materialize under my hand. "Do Y'all watch Star Trek?" I asked.

"Everybody knows who Captain Kirk is," Sergey laughed. "Every episode is now free to watch on YouTube."

"What's YouTube?" I asked.

To be continued....

January 20

Time to dress up,
put on fancy shoes,
wear your best duds,
hang out with friends,
drink fancy suds,
make a big sceen
and get in the way,
get out the news:
Penguin Awareness Day!

Need coffee!!!!
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